Establishing
Rapport
by
ResumeEdge.com - The Net's Premier Resume Writing and
Editing Service
With your qualifications and perhaps the help of a friend, you have secured your
opportunity to sell yourself. Your ability to connect with the interviewer can cinch the
job. Making a good impression on your interviewer requires more than dressing sharply,
polishing your shoes and being polite. From the moment you come in sight of the
interviewer, you begin the elusive process of connecting.
Studies show that people tend to remember events better when they are linked with an
emotional impression. Whether the feelings associated with an event are positive or
negative, emotional connections make the event salient, helping us remember things more
clearly. Making a memorable impression on the interviewer depends on your ability to
connect with the interviewer.
It helps if your personalities click and you both love to rock climb, or if you discover
you both share the same alma mater and deeply admire Alan Greenspan. It helps if you have
something in common. With some practice, you need not rely on external or circumstantial
points of mutual reference in order to establish a good rapport with the interviewer. At a
minimum, you can expect that the interviewer wants you to understand and appreciate what
she is saying-her goals and concerns, position, expectations and needs.
You can generate good vibes and emotions when you actively listen to the interviewer. This
does not mean that you need to ask her about her childhood or her greatest fears. Your
interviewer does not need you as a confidant. She just needs to feel like you are an
attentive and engaged interviewee. So, when you find yourself facing your interviewer
across a table (after you have made certain no stray particles blemish your otherwise
radiant smile), you can be certain she wants to be listened to and respected.
The active listening skills you can employ to connect with your interviewer are not
unique, but are seldom used. (Think of the last time someone gave you his undivided,
empathetic attention for an hour!) In some ways these skills are an art - but don't worry,
you can develop the ability with some practice.
Use
empathetic body language.
Both
your words and your behavior will affect whether you establish a connection with the
interviewer. When you meet the potential employer or human resources officer, you will
want to show that you are confident, trusting, open, attentive, and eager, but
restrained.
All of this can be communicated in a handshake. Make sure that your hand is about
perpendicular to the floor. If you extend your hand with your palm facing down, you
indicate that you need to be in control-something that can be off-putting in an interview
scenario. If you extend your hand with your palm facing up, you can appear overly docile.
Try extending your hand with your palm relatively flat, so that you offer to make full
contact with the other person's hand. If you cup your hand, you indicate that you mistrust
the other person.
Likewise, your posture throughout the interview indicates whether you are open and
attentive, or somehow withdrawn from the interviewer. Leaning back shows boredom or
sometimes insolence. It is better to sit up straight and lean forward just slightly,
facing the interviewer directly. Crossing your arms in front of you may indicate that you
are somehow defensive, whether from insecurity or mistrust. Try to keep your arms open,
even if your legs are crossed.
Eye contact is crucial. Look the person in the eye when you are speaking and listening. To
avoid giving the interviewer the impression that you are boring through him with your
transfixed gaze, take breaks and look away to the right or left.
Mirror
the interviewer.
People
feel comfortable when you do the same things that they do, provided your imitations are
not obvious. If the interviewer is smiling, smile. If the interviewer furrows her brow at
a certain point, do the same. But if the interviewer smokes, don't light up. Mirroring
works not only for behaviors, but also verbal statements. If you briefly say what you hear
when someone else says it, you show that you are connected. Again, this engaged listening
tool should be used with discretion. Too much can be awkward.
Example:
The interviewer says: Our company has doubled in personnel and tripled in revenue over the
last five years. The interviewee: Tripled in revenue. The interviewer: In order to meet
the constraints of the current economy, we are refocusing our business practices. We have
had to reduce the workforce in some departments without reducing our client load. While
this means that we expect our employees to work more efficiently, we also intend to equip
them for this efficiency by providing more thorough training and clearer direction. The
interviewee: Employee efficiency is important.
Ask
well-placed, clarifying questions.
If you
do not fully understand something that the interviewer asks or says, it is best to
clarify. Doing so signals to the interviewer that you are invested in what he or she is
saying. These questions can be tricky, however. If you ask questions that seek
clarification on issues that are tangential to the thrust of the interviewer's
communication, they derail the person's train of thought and cause people to become
defensive or withdrawn. The interviewer will be convinced that you are not paying
attention if you seek information that has just been given to you. Before interrupting the
interviewer to clarify a point, make sure that you are listening attentively. Follow the
train of thought of the speaker. Then pose a question.
Example:
I'm sorry, I don't think that I fully understand the reporting structure for this
position. Would I have one or two supervisors?
Ask
open-ended questions.
Open-ended
questions allow the interviewer to respond as he or she desires and also demonstrate that
you are open to what the interviewer says. The responses might challenge your assumptions,
so they mitigate miscommunication. They also allow you subtly to steer the interview in a
way that allows you to learn the things you wish about the company and job. The
information you gather from these questions will assist you in evaluating the company.
Example:
What are the greatest challenges that the person filling this position will likely
encounter?
